Mar 26, 2010

How You Feel When You Still Breathing In The Same Old Butt-hole Over And Over Again.

Here's the latest shit in 2010. After i'd briefing about uncomfortable changes at my workplace..i get another stupid thing that i've no idea it will turn out really bad. So i guess, i need to speak for myself in this matter. I dont care if anyone read this or not. This is what i've in the back of my minds.

It all started when i'm answering a killer question from anonymous in fuckspring.me website. It's not really a killer question..it's more like a trap that i didnt see. But i've answered the question without a doubt. and i felt nothing's wrong with it. The situation now getting worst..getting bigger involving a lot of heart and soul. Unfortunately, someone has been hurt and offended, not by the answer..but the question. Someone that i love so much. she's so upset. She's going mad..the question involving Life and Death. I didnt know that i'm the 1 that pull the trigger..and she'd start the fire. I've the choice to skip the question..but i didnt. I answer it just to show to my gf that i'm happy with her now. Coz deep in my heart i knew she didnt trust me well.

What i felt now..and what would i do..is nothing. If u guys asking me y..here's the answer..

I'm tired dealing with feelings. I'm tired thinking 'bout something that doesnt have anything good in return. I'm tired with situation like this. I've a lot of important things to think about. I dont want to feel so miserable and blaming how f**k up my life is. (Baik aku buat bende2 yg bleh happy kn diri aku). Maybe it does sound selfish. Ok. I dont care. If my gf started the fire among my late-ex-gf frens, i'm sure she know how to deal with it. It's not that i dont have balls to take the responsibility of what she hv done..it just, i've done my part. I've talked to her about everything. But she had her own way to settle this. That's fine with me. Plus, she's my gf..not yet a wife. If in that case, that would be another story. I surely take responsibility in every good or bad things that she did if we're husband and wife. Am i dumb enough to think that way..? Well i guess not. What would they expect that i should do..? Not everyone know what i've been going through past this 5 years..and what i've become. Not everyone know what is going on. Do i deserve better than this shit? No. That is why i didnt care. And i dont want to think about it or get involve. Semak.

Do what u guys think is right. Do what u guys think is good.
We all make mistakes, we all deserve what we'll get in the future.
It is Allah job's. I'm not the religious kind. But i believe in HIM.

For all the spectators, the one who thinks they some kind of JUDGE, or whoever that know about this story, this situation..think twice before u throw a conclusion or your point of view. Maybe i would like to hear some of it. Or maybe i just dont care at all. So it's up to you guys out there..not everyone have the same thing playing around their minds. Not everyone think the same. Not everyone.


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